Well, it’s official: the 2016 race for the presidential nomination has become a dog and pony show as a canine from Kentucky enters the race. The Border Collie may not be beating Trump in the polls, but at least she’s housebroken. In this edition of “Shit Politicians Say”, Jesse Ventura goes off on joke candidates and the experience it takes to become president.
Jesse Ventura: There’s another Presidential candidate for 2016 ad I thought this clown car couldn’t fit another Bozo.
The 2016 Presidential race has officially gone to the dogs, so today we are rounding up some less than intelligent quotes from candidates in this edition of Shit Politicians Say.
Alex Logan: Alright Governor, Lucy Lou, not the known actress, but the Border Collie has thrown her hat or her collar in the ring for the 2016 Presidential race. Wearing a red, white and blue tutu she stepped down from her position as mayor of Rabbit Hash, Kentucky to focus her energy on running for president. She spent seven years in office having been elected to the tiny town of 350 people on the same historic day that Barack Obama was elected President. 7 years, that’s 7 years longer than Donald Trump, Dr. Ben Carson or Carly Fiorina. Don’t you need some experience before ascending to the highest political office in the country Governor?
Jesse Ventura: I don’t know, do you? Logic tells you yes, that you probably should have served, because one of the difficult things that a Trump candidacy or any of the other independents who have never, Carson or whoever, have never held offices. When you run a corporation you are kind of like a benevolent dictator. You are in charge and you get to make decisions and nobody questions what you do. I am sure in the Donald Trump organization there aren’t many people who can question the Donald when he makes a decision.
In government, it’s a little bit different. Remember, corporations are there to make profit and money, government is there to provide services. Those are two different elements and now to take over leadership of government, you got to realize there’s checks and balance and you got to work with the Congress, work with the Senate in which to achieve things. The sad awakening to the private sector person is that they are going to have to get approval, they won’t be just dictators.
I don’t know can somebody be President. Has anyone ever done it before?
Alex Logan: Governor, we looked this up and in the 20th century, three men did not hold an elected office before being elected President. Former Secretary of War, William Howard Taft, former Secretary of Commerce, Herbert Hoover and General Dwight D. Eisenhower, although they all held other major positions in government prior.
Jesse Ventura: There you go. It isn’t a prerequisite to have held another elected official job. This is kind of good. You don’t have to be a career politician to be the President.
Alex Logan: But not being a career politician do you think you could have been Governor of Minnesota before you were Mayor of Brooklyn Park?
Jesse Ventura: Yes.
Alex Logan: You do?
Jesse Ventura: Because they totally forgot about me being a Mayor. They didn’t even bother; I bet I had as much experience as one of my opponents Norm Coleman, who is the Mayor of St. Paul. Norm Coleman had no more experience than I did and yet they conveniently forgot that I had been Mayor of the sixth largest city in Minnesota.
Yeah, I believe I could have been Governor without being Mayo. I believe that.
Alex Logan: Let’s get on with the shit politicians say. Hillary Clinton and her private email server have been in the news again. In an interview with MSNBC, the Democratic Presidential candidate told Andrew Mitchell “At the end of the day, I’m sorry that this has been confusing to people and has raised a lot of questions, but there are answers to all of these questions.” Clinton did not divulge what those answers are, besides admitting that when she became Secretary of State in 2009 “There was so much work to be done, we had so many problems around the world, I didn’t really stop and think what kind of email system will there be.” Her campaign has been dogged by this controversy from the beginning. Do you think we can trust Clinton or do you think this is a conservative candidate and media’s best bet to discredit Clinton?
Jesse Ventura: I think it’s a combination of both. I think that Hillary should have known better, but many other people use their private servers in official capacity, that’s already been shown. I don’t think she had any underlying, hidden agenda for doing so. If she screwed up, she screwed up. Let’s just call it like it is, find the problem, fix the problem and move on. Hillary’s emails are not that important to me. When they want to talk about something, let’s talk about General Petraeus and let’s talk about all the top secret stuff he revealed to his mistress in bed and he got nothing for it and his damage was far more extensive I believe than Hillary Clinton’s emails.
Alex Logan: According to Clinton’s competition Bobby Kayser, who is Lucy Lou, the dog’s Chief of Staff, “There is no question that Lucy Lou is the most thoroughly vetted candidate on the book, aside from a few fleas, she has no skeletons in her closet, a few dog bones maybe, but no skeletons.
Jesse Ventura: That’s nice humor and all that stuff and we appreciate it, but I get a kick out of it, because they had a candidate here in Minnesota who sold some 12, 14 year old kid and the point of the matter is it’s all nice for the media and all that and the change of pace, but it is kind of a serious job, the President of the United States and I don’t think we should make light of it like this.
Alex Logan: This is far out, it seems like it has just become a circus, so any distraction from that circus has become one that people will attention to, right Governor?
Jesse Ventura: Yeah, exactly, it’s because it all comes back to what I said before, the campaigns are too long, they start far too early, we need to pass laws, that you cannot even form a campaign committee until the year of the election.
I can predict it right now, whoever wins in 2016 will the oath of office in January of 2017, you can bet the campaign will start within that year, for what will it be the 2020 election?
It troubles the crap out of me that all these people hold these jobs that are supposed to be so important that only they can do them, yet they can spend two years campaigning for another job, be it a Senator, be it Scott Walker, who is governing Wisconsin, Governor Walker while you are running for President? I’ve done this campaign; they are 24/7 for a Major, governor, federal or whatever job it might be. Why are these people allowed to cash checks when clearly they are not doing their job they are supposed to be doing when they are running for president two years ahead of time?
Alex Logan: At least the dog had the respect to step down from the Mayor position before running.
Jesse Ventura: That should be a prerequisite. If you are going to run for a higher office, you should have to resign the one you are sitting in then, if you are going to do it while you still hold that office.
That’s all for this shaggy dog edition of Shit Politicians Say. What do you think vigilant viewers? Who are you backing in 2016, an elephant, a donkey or a dog? Sound off on Facebook or Twitter and be sure to check ora.tv to get all of the latest episodes of Off The Grid. Until next time, stay vigilant whether you are a donkey or a dog.